Americana… or Is That Canadicana?

Americans are stupid, and I am a stupid American. I put that out there because I had the thought, hanging out in Canada a week ago, that going out to a quintessential Canadian diner (who, even by their own admission, serves “Americana” food) was somehow bad. Like I’m supposed to go and get Canadian cuisine. What even is Canadian cuisine? Maple syrup and poutine? That seems pretty narrow minded, and kind of ignores the fact that the country in the great, white north isn’t really all that different from the great, flat south.

Although, actually, maple syrup was used in a few dishes, and you could get beef gravy on your fries here so… maybe I was actually on to something…

Regardless, I had that silly thought when it was suggested that we go to Kelsey’s Original Roadhouse, a very standard burgers, sandwiches, wings, and things kind of place. It’s in the same genre as Applebees, TGI Fridays, Ruby Tuesdays, and all the rest. Just hearing those names you can probably already imagine what was on the menu… and you’d be correct. This is Americana, or Canadicana, or whatever you wanna call it. Solid, standard, basic diner food, and that was all we needed.

The specific Kelsey’s we stopped at is actually the original (so that wasn’t just a clever name), the first location opened up back in 1978. The chain has slowly spread since then, but this original location still stands in London, ON. We didn’t realize it was the original at the time as we were just going in for burgers and such, but it was a cool detail to learn. It also explained why one of the items on the menu was the 1978 Burger. That was sort of an important year for them. As it turned out, I actually got the 1978 burger, along with a platter of nachos for the table, and we all had a good time hanging out, eating Canadiacana, and chilling in this classic restaurant.

The vibe of the place was pretty nice. It had a sports bar feel, with polished wood surfaces everywhere, some mirrors along the walls, and TVs mounted at various corners of the joint. The volume wasn’t up on the TVs, and the music playing at the time was 1990s and 2000s jams that you recognize and then instantly forget once the song switches. I think a few of the tracks were from back when I was in high school, and realizing that’s the kind of music played in restaurants and other establishments makes me feel old. It used to be that songs from the 1960s and 1970s were “restaurant default”. Now my music is, and I feel myself slowly age.

But I digress. On the TVs were various sports broadcasts, and you could tell it was Canadian since the primary sports being showcased were hockey and curling. There was also golf, which I would argue has international appeal, but you can’t get much more Canadian than hockey and curling. As it so happens I actually like watching curling so this wasn’t an issue for me. It was easy to ignore if I wanted, but it didn’t bother me when I looked up and saw people moving around on ice. It didn’t ruin the atmosphere at all.

The nachos were ordered for the table, and we had them come out as an appetizer. half-pan loaded nachos which, per the menu, are chili seasoned tortilla chips covered in a three-cheese blend, tomatoes, black beans, onions, jalapeños, and shredded lettuce. Served with salsa, sour-cream, and house-made queso cheese sauce.You know, pretty standard nachos. I will note that I didn’t detect any jalapeños on the nachos, which wasn’t a big deal for the others at the table since they didn’t much like spice. It was just a curious thing.

The nachos were great, with the right mix of substance to sauce. The chili seasoned chips weren’t overly salty, which was a worry I had, and they remained crispy pretty much throughout the time the nachos survived. Between the three of us at lunch we were able to destroy the half-pan, although one of our group was then super full after and didn’t even make it into their burger (they took it to go instead). None of it was astounding, and I wasn’t sitting there thinking, “man, this is the best plate of nachos I’ve ever had,” but it was tasty and solid. Very basic, but pretty good, bar nachos.

The rest of the food came out after and we all ended up getting various burgers. I went with the aforementioned 1978, which is a pretty basic burger. It’s two patties, layered with shredded lettuce, tomato, red onions, pickles, and mayo, and served on a soft bun. I got fries on the side (although I could have gotten them covered with gravy or even served as poutine, but I declined), with a bit of barbeque sauce to go with.

On its own the burger was decent. Not overly flavorful, but decently cooked and served with fresh ingredients. Like the nachos I would call it simple but effective bar food. Everything was well made, the burgers were nicely done, and it all felt simple but effective. I did end up spreading some of the barbeque sauce I got on my burger just to add a little sweetness and kick, and they helped to take it up a notch. I also used the sauce to dip my fries… although I won’t deny that I ended up dipping some fries in the gravy one of my companions got. Canada might be on to something there as gravy with fries is pretty darn good.

And that was really it. After a plate of nachos and some burgers we were all way too full to sample anything else. Not that any of the desserts seems astounding. They’re exactly what you’d expect from an establishment like this with cheesecake, brownies, and lava cake all appearing. The most intriguing item was the funnel cake fries, served with vanilla ice cream and chocolate or caramel sauce, and had I not filled up I might have sampled those (because who doesn’t love funnel cake?), but my burger was substantial enough I didn’t feel the need.

Overall, then, Kelsey’s was good but not astounding. The vibe you get walking in pegs it exactly as you’d expect: it’s an Americana joint (however you want to call it) serving Americana food. If you’re Canadian, even the additions of gravy (or poutine alternative) for fries wouldn’t seem all that interesting. It’s a burger diner that does its thing pretty well. Nothing will shock or amaze you, but that just means it’s the old, reliable stand by. You can see why this place is something of a Canadian standard as the food is good enough. It’s the homegrown chain doing the thing people want, simply and effectively. But if you’re in Canada and you’re looking for a solid burger done well, it’s easy to say, “yeah, let’s just do Kelsey’s.” This is why they exist.