I Travel the World in Search of Branded Mediocrity

Editor's Note: This rant was contributed by LordFizzlebeef and is being posted "as is". All angry bile is preserved as originally written... because it's funny.

After a plane ride I was like "fuck it first place I'm stopping that isn't total shit". Confirmed: Shit is not a power word here and needs to consult the RNG table.

Twins Grill & Bar

This place has something called "Killebrew Root Beer" so we're gonna figure out what that is. Also some sort of burger and chili that I'm lead to believe is straight from the ballpark.

The Chili: Well, it doesn't seem canned, and a jalapeno was near this at some point, color me impressed. Rating: B-

They also had an oddly sized can of root beer. Better than A&W. But not much else. Rating: C+

The Burger, OH. MY. GOD. ITS MAJESTIC. It's so sad. It's so depressing. I want to cry just looking at it.

Barbecue sauce is MIA. Bacon is sad and flobbery. Meat exists but in a bland, unseasoned state. Rating: D

Then Smash Mouth started playing. It's try harding but there are Denny's aspirations here.

Final grade: C