A Pop in the Mouth

Oreos have had some weird ass flavors. Chocolate Creme, Strawberry Milkshake, Oreo DQ Blizzard Creme, Triple Double Neapolitan, Spongebob, Swedish Fish, Peeps, Star WarsThe modern blockbuster: it's a concept so commonplace now we don't even think about the fact that before the end of the 1970s, this kind of movie -- huge spectacles, big action, massive budgets -- wasn't really made. That all changed, though, with Star Wars, a series of films that were big on spectacle (and even bigger on profits). A hero's journey set against a sci-fi backdrop, nothing like this series had ever really been done before, and then Hollywood was never the same.… the list goes on and on. Hell, we already covered one strange flavor, the absolutely detestable Sour Patch Kids Flavored Oreos. Nabisco, makers of everyone’s favorite Hydrox knock-offs, has shown a willingness to pair their cookie brand up with any flavor, any brand, any time, if it will get social media buzz and sell a few extra packages. And their latest mash-up is a brand crossover with Coca-Cola.

Now I don’t actually think this crossover is really that bad an idea, at least in theory. If you’ve ever had special flavors put into your Coke at an ice cream parlor or similar place, then you know that chocolate flavor and Coke can go well together. While the thought of Oreos with Coke Flavor might make the brain rebel at first blush, once you think on it there’s a certain logic to this whole idea. Two great tastes that just might taste great together. I can certainly see the appeal. With that said, the crossover itself is pretty bonkers.

While the Oreo side of the equation makes sense, slapping Coke flavor into Oreos cookies, the Coke side is so weird. It’s Oreo flavored Coke Zero which… why? There isn’t a regular, sugared variety of the soda, just the Zero Sugar version, so if you want to try both sides of the crossover you have to accept real sugar on one half and fake, diet sweetener on the other. I’m sure some suit somewhere was like, “this is great because the people on a diet can try the crossover, and everyone else gets indulgent cookies.” But what it means for someone that hates diet drinks is that I refuse to try the drink side of this crossover. I already know I’m gonna hate the taste because I hate the taste of all diet drinks. I am not impartial.

It sucks, too, because I had this whole big plan for the crossover when it was announced (and I didn’t realize one side was going to be Zero Sugar). I was gonna try the cookies, and then the soda, and then dunk the cookies in milk, then dunk the cookies in the soda. And then I would have gotten really crazy, first making a Oreo Coke version of “Pilk” (officially Pepsi and Milk, but the substitution would have been worthwhile in this instance) and tasting that before, finally, dunking the cookies in the Oreo Coke Pilk. A whole progression of flavors that, I’m sure, would have gotten downright nanky by the end, but you’ve got to do it for the sake of science.

Instead, though, we’re limited to the two things I was willing to test: Coke Oreos and Coke Oreos dipped in milk. So let’s see how these go:

Coca-Cola Flavored Oreo Cookies

Trying to make sure I got the whole experience, step one of this project was opening the package and giving the batch a smell. I had one of the big packages, the full four rows of cookies, because I couldn’t find a sample size anywhere. This meant a lot of cookies in an enclosed space, so you expect a lot of smell to come off it. Upon opening the package, what I smelled was… Oreos. Just plain Oreos. Eventually that chocolate cookie smell drifted off and the Coke smell came out, which was nice, but it’s interesting that first and foremost the cookies smelled like cookies. Or, wait… maybe that should have been expected. Whatever the case, it was first one then the other.

Taking out a single cookie gave me that Coke smell. The cookie is black on one side, saying “Oreo” on the cookie, while the other is bright red with “Coke” printed across it. Clearly the crossover is meant to evoke both flavors. A single bite kind of confirms that as the flavor is kind of Oreo, kind of Coke. I wouldn’t call it as strong a Coke flavor as some might be expecting, but there is that Coca-Cola flavor bite that’s familiar to anyone that drinks the soda regularly. It wasn’t a bad flavor, it worked with both the Coke and chocolate flavors, but it wasn’t great either.

The surprise was the little popping candies in the cookie sandwich. Sure, it says there are popping candies in the cookies, but I didn’t read that. I just saw “Coke Oreos” and was already sold on testing these. But the popping candies are a nice touch, evoking a bit of that soda feel in the mouth as you chew. I will note the popping candies stick around for a little while, continuing to pop in the bits of cookie that inevitably get stuck in your teeth. My wife found them amusing at first, but as they just kept going she quickly said they were tiresome and she just wanted it to end.

I feel like these are a mixed bag on their own. They taste fine, and the popping candies are amusing, but I also wouldn’t go out of my way to eat these again. I don’t think they have anything over even a basic Oreo cookie, they’re just fun for the novelty of it.

And then Dipped in Milk

I’ve got to be honest, the milk didn’t really add anything. I actually kind of detracted from the experience. First of all, these are solid, crunchy cookies and the milk didn’t seem to affect their solidity at all. I held one in the milk for a good few seconds and it came out just as solid and crunchy as before. I guess that’s nice, in a way, as you know it’ll take a lot to make your cookies stale, but it also meant that dunking the cookies barely had an effect on their texture. A good cookie dunk gives the cookie a different feel, opening it up and enriching the texture. Milk doesn’t do anything to the Coke Oreo’s texture at all.

And as far as flavor was concerned, it made it a little worse. The milk somehow made the Coke-infused Oreo flavor taste more bitter and less enjoyable. I was already on the fence with the cookie before I dunked it, but afterwards I realized I really didn’t want any more. Certainly I didn’t want to dunk them even if I got the bug up my butt to eat yet another cookie. That was a hard pass from me on the classic Oreo and milk combo in this case.

And, overall then, I’d say that at least the cookie side of the crossover just isn’t that great. They’re amusing, a fun little novelty, but not something I would think most people are going to enjoy. And, from what I’ve heard from friends online that will drink diet sodas, the Coke side of the equation is even worse, kind of gross and very strange. So then I guess the whole experiment was more of a failure. Sure, it probably sold a bunch of these for the company as curious people tried it out, but I have my doubts these would ever become a permanent fixture of either brands’ repertoire.