Answering the Call of Royal Obligation

Disney Princesses: A Definitive List, Part 1

Having now, over the last few years, gone through all of the films from the various Disney Princesses, it felt only right to go back over the list and rank them all. There are a bunch of princesses, with even more movies to their names, so we need to determine, once and for all, who is the greatest princess to rule the Disney kingdom. I suppose that would then make her a queen, or that the Disney kingdom is only a kingdom in name and would be more or a duchy or a province… You know what, let’s not get bogged down in the land-owning details. We’re here to rank princesses.

This list will cover only the official princesses currently acknowledged by Disney’s line. That means that you fans of Tinkerbell (Peter Pan), Esmerelda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame), or Jane (Tarzan) won’t get to see your ladies on this list; they aren’t official members anymore. Weirdly, Anne and Elsa (of Frozen fame) also aren’t official members (despite sometimes showing up in Disney princess celebrations) so while they could easily have stolen the top slot of this list, they won’t even get an “honorable mention” prize for their efforts. Only official princesses get a rank.

We’re going worst-to-best, with this first chunk of the list covering the worst princesses with the worst films. Things can only go up from here:

Raya

Films:

I feel bad kicking a princess while she’s down, but there’s no denying that Raya got the short end of the stick here. She was inducted into the Disney Princess line before her film even came out, but then that film, Raya and the Last Dragon, bombed pretty hard in theaters. That’s not to say it’s entirely the fault of the film – it was a post-COVID release around the time when people were struggling with the idea of going back in theaters – but the quality of the film certainly didn’t help matters, either.

The fact is that while Raya and the Last Dragon is a very pretty film, with solid visuals playing in a different setting that Disney normally plays in, its story is lacking. It’s a very basic hero’s (or heroine’s) journey with expected story beats all along the way. Very rarely does the film manage to rise up and do anything interesting with its story, and it’s only further hobbled by a voice cast that really doesn’t work in context. Awkwafina (who voiced the titular dragon) can be fun in certain roles, but this was not one of them.

All of that together gives Raya a very poor legacy. It’s doubtful that she’ll be seen again in another film, and I’d bet, down the road, even her one movie is gently and quietly removed from the princess line when no one is looking.

Pocahontas

Films:

And then we almost immediately get to a weird one. Pocahontas is not a princess. Yes, she’s in the princess line, but she’s one of those ladies that is given the Disney title without actually having it for real. She’s the daughter of a chieftain, and while you could say, “yeah, but so is Raya or Moana,” and you’d be right, there’s something a little different about Pocahontas over those other ladies in the line. Specifically, Pocahontas is a real person (or, at least, she’s directly based on one).

Most of the princesses in the line are based on fairy tales, or at least fictional stories that feel like fairy tales. But Pocahontas’s film, also called Pocahontas, is very specifically a (loose) interpretation of her actual life. They made changes, like giving her animal companions along with a magical tree grandmother, aging up the character, moving historical details around… honestly, this version of her life is more fiction than fact. But that doesn’t change the fact that she was a real person and Disney made her into a princess. It’s just strange.

End of the day, though, her films (the theatrical release and the direct-to-video sequel, Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World) aren’t very good, even if you ignore the historical inaccuracies in the films. The fact that they’re also huge works of fiction certainly doesn’t help, and all of that combined pushes Pocahontas way down on the list.

Snow White

Films:

I feel bad for Snow. She has one of the more successful films in the line (dollar for dollar, especially when you adjust for inflation), but that film is also the one that has (for various reasons) aged the worst. On top of that she has the least successful live action adaptation yet released by Disney, and it’s doubtful anyone is going to go back and give it a kinder critical reevaluation. Hell, I reviewed the live-action version with open eyes, trying to give it every chance to prove itself… and it still failed.

I think a big issue for Snow, and her films in general, is that she’s such an old character in comparison to everyone else on this list. Her film came out a decade before another princess (Cinderella) joined the scene, and while it did set the stage for what animated films could become, it was also doing it blindly, with its creators stabbing in the dark trying to figure out how a feature length animated film could work. They did manage to make one… but it’s hard to argue (even with Box Office numbers) that it was really successful as a film in its own right. It’s a loose collection of songs, wonderfully animated, but the story takes a back seat to style in this work.

I’m sure there’s probably a way to make Snow work in a film, Disney or otherwise (just look at Mirror Mirror, which is a delightfully silly adaptation of the fairy tale) but I just don’t think Disney’s version really has what it takes. Her films are hard to love. I didn’t put her at the bottom just because her first movie is a certified money maker… but I can’t justify putting it much higher just because her movies aren’t worth watching from the perspective of modern audiences. Her time, sadly, has passed.

Tiana

Films:

Oof, this was a big swing and a miss from Disney. The first Black princess in the line, given a tale set in jazzy New Orleans, with songs, and magic, and tasty food. It should have been a slam dunk for the company. Audiences were ready for it (and that was at a time when you didn’t have MAGA Chuds complaining just because a Disney character wasn’t white). And yet, at the end of the day, the company managed to make a pretty weird film that most people didn’t really like.

It’s not that The Princess and the Frog is all around bad. It’s a very artistically pretty film, one of the last fully 2D animated films Disney made, done in the classic style that had been their bread and butter for years. The voice acting is great, some of the songs are decent, and there’s a feeling like Disney was grasping for something and almost could have had it if they’d just spent a little more time on the script. The story just doesn’t work. It’s tedious, a meandering affair that fills its time with antics and songs when it should have been focused on character. And… actually, Tiana’s movie shares a lot in common with Snow White, now that I think about it.

The key difference, and why I rank Tiana a little higher, is that this princess has more agency in her own life. She has hopes and dreams and, when given a chance, fights for what she wants. Now, sure, Disney did a disservice to her, finally making a Black princess and then turning her into a frog for most of her film (something many viewers pointed out). But she does fight, she has agency, and she’s a likable character. The worst thing you can say about her is that she’s too good for her own film. The Princess and the Frog kind of sucks, but Tiana shines brightly within in, no matter the shape Disney forced her into.

Mulan

Films:

And then we come to a contentious choice, if only because I know plenty of people love Mulan as a character… even if two of her three movies suck. Released in 1998, Disney’s Mulan was a different kind of princess story (and yes, Mulan is a chieftain’s daughter, and then a military expert, and never really a princess), one where the female at the center of it all had to do the unthinkable: not be a woman. It’s strange to think, especially in our current timeline, that a story about a woman pretending to be a man somehow wouldn’t be contentious once upon a time.

While I’m not personally a fan of the original animated film, plenty of people do love it. It has a great voice cast, fun moments, and solid songs that stick with audiences. Certainly in comparison to the two films that followed it’s a real winner. Mulan II is a standard Disney direct-to-video film, tacking on a story to a completed adventure and hoping people still actually care. It’s not bad for what it does but it doesn’t feel all that essential either. The real loss comes from the live-action remake of Mulan, which is a wholly unnecessary film that doesn’t even understand the story it’s adapting. Fans, young and old, rejected the film, turning it into a massive bust for Disney.

Like many of the characters on this list, Mulan sits in that sad position where I wouldn’t really expect to see much from her in the future. Disney is all in on sequels and remakes and Mulan’s chance at reinvention was squandered. Unlike Raya I don’t anticipate Mulan ever getting removed from the princess ranks, but it’s hard to see how Disney brings her back again, outside of cameos in films like Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck It Ralph 2 and the like.

Next Time…

We hit the middle of the pack and go over the princesses who not only have decent fan followings, but a couple of actual successful adventures under their belts as well. Stay tuned…