Writer's Workshop

Oh yes, now things are really coming together. I kind of feel like I say that every week right now, but considering the plot lines are all steadily converging, it is true. We're getting a lot of movement today, and so a lot of stuff happens. Let's get to it and then discuss after.

Before you dive in make sure you're all caught up on the story up until now (in the script archive) before diving into this chapter.

Bride of Dracula: Part 9

INT: RESTAURANT, RITZ HOTEL, NIGHT, PRESENT.

BARRETT comes back to the table as LUCY and RACHEL. He sits and takes a long drink of wine.

RACHEL:

Is everything okay, brother?

BARRETT:

Oh... yes, RACHEL. It's fine. Just a long day.

LUCY smiles.

LUCY:

I do know how that feels.

BARRETT turns to LUCY.

BARRETT:

It's lovely that you came to eat with us tonight. I had actually wanted to have some time alone with you for a while now. Would you be willing to go on a walk with me tonight?

LUCY:

A walk?

BARRETT:

Fear not. I will be the perfect gentleman. I would just love to see the city, with you.

LUCY:

Well, I mean... I had intended...

BARRETT:

Do you have other plans for the evening after dinner?

LUCY looks at RACHEL.

LUCY:

I had intended...

RACHEL cuts in.

RACHEL:

I'm sure whoever you were going to meet will understand.

She looks over at BARRETT.

RACHEL:

And an hour of fresh air would do you some good, brother. You look peaked.

BARRETT nods.

BARRETT:

It's just nerves.

LUCY:

Well... I suppose.

BARRETT:

Excellent!

EXT: RITZ HOTEL, NIGHT, PRESENT.

We see LUCY and BARRETT exit the hotel together. He offers his arm and she accepts, tentatively. They walk to the end of the block, and then turn the corner.

EXT: BOROGRAVIAN WOODS, NIGHT, PAST.

We watch LUCY and NICA walk through the woods together, similarly arm in arm, although here there is no tentativeness from LUCY. As they stroll through the night, RENFIELD follows some distance behind, watching. Soon the two women stop by a large tree. NICA turns to LUCY and smiles. She leans her head to one side, offering her neck, and LUCY leans in. She bites, and NICA gasps, and the LUCY begins to feed.

There's a sudden rush and RENFIELD is behind her. NICA's eyes open, but she's unable to push LUCY off. RENFIELD draws his hand back and there's a knife. He stabs LUCY in the back, and this finally pulls her away from the blood. She rears back, and she looks animalistic, fangs out, mouth open, blood covering her face. She turns to RENFIELD, her hands out like claws. He smiles and licks the knife.

RENFIELD:

Now I finally have your blood.

LUCY lashes out, catching him across the head, sending him stumbling. He still has the knife, though. She moves in, impossible fast, grabbing him, but he stabs her in the chest. This causes her to let go, to pull back, the knife sticking from her breast. Blood pours out as she clutches her chest.

RENFIELD:

He don't deserve the gift you were given.

He stumbles off into the night, leaving her there to bleed. Eventually NICA comes over and kneels by LUCY.

NICA:

We must remove that, and then you will need to feed to heal.

LUCY starts to look quite pale and wan, sickly. She nods weakly and allows NICA to pull the knife from her chest. The blood flows more freely and LUCY falls back. NICA cradles her, putting her wrist to LUCY's mouth.

NICA:

Feed.

Weakly, LUCY bites and begins to suck. Then, as her strength returns, she puts her hands on the arm and feeds more. She sits up, pushes the arm away, and goes to NICA's neck. She feeds more freely, draining the blood. NICA's eyes go wide and she beats against the vampire.

NICA:

No... no, too much.

LUCY, though, is lost in the blood, desperate to feed.

NICA:

LUCY... please...

NICA goes limp, her eyes rolling back. LUCY leans in, pushing the girl to the ground, and she drains every drop. NICA dies as LUCY sucks the last of her blood from her body. Then she sits up, cat-like, her eyes fully red and consumed by the blood, her face covered in it. She licks her mouth clean, relishing the taste. Only as the redness leaves her eyes, and she goes back to looking more human, does she see NICA beneath her.

LUCY:

NICA?

She lifts the woman, tries to rouse her.

LUCY:

NICA!

She shakes the woman, but NICA is dead.

LUCY:

NO!

She tries to think, then does the only thing she can: she bites her own wrist, causing blood to flow, and then she dribbles this in NICA's mouth. It's too late, though, and the corpse does not rouse, does not feed. The woman is truly gone.

LUCY screams, crying into the night.

INT: RITZ PARIS, FOURTH FLOOR, NIGHT, PRESENT.

RACHEL moves down the hall to her room, unlocking it and throwing her shawl inside. Then she pauses and looks down the hall. Quietly closing her door from the outside, she moves down, coming to the room next to hers. She looks around once, then, using another key, she moves inside.

INT: ROOM 414, RITZ HOTEL, NIGHT, PRESENT.

RACHEL moves through the room, going through her brother's stuff. It's pretty clear that a guy lives in here, from the clothing on the floor and hanging on hooks. She shakes her head at the couple of dirty glasses sitting out, but then she spots a specific trunk and moves over, business on her mind.

She tries the trunk but finds it locked. She looks around, but does see a key, so she checks the desk. On the third drawer she finds what she wants, coming back over with a letter opener which she uses on the lock to pop it (clearly having done this before). She digs through the trunk, which is filled with books, and finds a specific tome she wants.

She rises, closing the trunk, and then quickly steals out of the room.

EXT: PARIS STREETS, NIGHT, PRESENT.

LUCY and BARRETT continue down the road, looking at the nightlife while BARRETT tries to get a conversation going.

BARRETT:

You know, LUCIA...

LUCY looks at him.

LUCY:

Yes?

BARRETT:

My sister does raise a valid point.

LUCY:

I'm sorry? About what?

BARRETT:

She needs to marry but, at this time in my life, I should as well.

LUCY looks confused.

BARRETT:

I have enjoyed our time together these past couple of weeks. So... I mean... If you would have me-

LUCY draws away.

LUCY:

BARRETT, I couldn't.

BARRETT:

Times are changing. What was considered strange in the past is more acceptable now.

LUCY:

As in?

BARRETT:

Society doesn't view a woman remarrying as such a strange thing anymore.

LUCY:

It's not that, BARRETT.

BARRETT:

You need a man. Someone to stand by your side.

LUCY:

I really don't.

He steps in.

BARRETT:

Let me be that man for you.

LUCY steps back, her back up against a storefront.

LUCY:

No. Thank you, but no.

BARRETT moves in again, close to her. He puts his hands on her shoulders.

BARRETT:

We have something.

LUCY puts her hand on his chest.

LUCY:

We really don't.

BARRETT:

Then why else have you been coming to see me at the dance halls every night? And then dinner tonight? It's obvious.

LUCY:

Not to me it isn't.

He leans in to kiss her and she pushes him back.

BARRETT:

It's okay. I know what I'm getting into.

She shoves him back, hard, causing him to stumble off slightly.

LUCY:

You really don't.

BARRETT recovers and moves back in.

BARRETT:

This is what's best!

LUCY slaps him, causing him to reel back one more.

LUCY:

I decide that, not you.

BARRETT looks at her with rage in his eyes.

LUCY:

I'm going to choose to think that you are drunk and aren't thinking clearly. Whatever you want from me, from us, is not happening. Go find it somewhere else.

She then turns and storms off, leaving BARRETT there on his own, his eyes shooting daggers.

EXT: ROMANI CAMP, BOROGRAVIAN WOODS, NIGHT, PAST.

LUCY comes into the camp through the main gate, carrying NICA's body in her arms. The people gather, horrified at what they see.

SFX: Shocked crowd noises.

LUCY:

Where is he?

The ELDER comes up, visibly angry.

ELDER:

What have you done?

LUCY is suddenly in front of him, holding him up with one arm while the other hangs onto the body of NICA.

LUCY:

WHERE IS HE!?

The ELDER claws at his neck.

ELDER:

Who?

LUCY:

RENFIELD!

ELDER:

He left. Minutes ago. Took your carriage.

LUCY drops him, then gently sets NICA's body down. As she looks up she sees the villagers gathered, some of them afraid, more of them angry, all quite willing to commit violence on LUCY.

LUCY:

He attacked me. NICA gave her life to save me.

She stands and looks at the crowd.

LUCY:

I will make him pay.

ELDER:

What should we do with NICA?

LUCY storms out of the camp, murder in her eyes.

LUCY:

Burn the body. Bury it. It doesn't matter. She's dead. And he will be soon, too.

INT: COURT OF VAMPIRES, MAIN CHAMBER, FRANCE, NIGHT, PRESENT.

The eternal party continues as the vampires dance and dine while music plays. MILLA sits on her throne, attended to by FENWICK and her SERVANT. Soon BARRETT comes in, looking disheveled. The various vampires seen him, smelling the life on him as he walks past. They smile and look on, hungrily. MILLA sits up, at least entertained by this new development.

FENWICK:

Have you gotten it.

BARRETT:

She rejected me.

MILLA looks down at him, disdainfully.

MILLA:

So try harder.

BARRETT:

I am, but she seemed quite adamant. If you would just let me kill her and take her blood-

MILLA is suddenly standing in front of him.

MILLA:

NO! You cannot!

BARRETT shrinks down, scared.

BARRETT:

Sorry.

MILLA kneels by him and takes his face in her hand. She clearly grabs hard as he winces.

MILLA:

If I could just take it I already would have, idiot. She has to give her blood freely. If we take it from her I wont get its true power.

BARRETT:

But she has no interest in me.

MILLA smiles, then stands.

MILLA:

I can think of another way...

INT: ROOM 412, RITZ HOTEL, NIGHT, PRESENT.

RACHEL lounges on the couch in the main part of the room, reading the book she stole from her brother.

SFX: Light knocking on her door.

Hearing the knocking at her room's door, RACHEL rises and moves over. She looks through the peep hole and then quickly opens the door with a smile. However, when she sees LUCY's face fully, her smile fades. She stands aside as LUCY comes into the room.

RACHEL:

What happened?

LUCY sits down, sullen. RACHEL comes over.

LUCY:

He asked me to marry him.

RACHEL laughs, but then realizes that wasn't the right reaction and stops.

RACHEL:

I hope you let him down easily.

LUCY:

I tried, but he wouldn't stop trying to convince me.

RACHEL:

Yes, he is pigheaded like that.

LUCY:

So I slapped him.

RACHEL's eyes widen slightly.

RACHEL:

Is he still alive?

LUCY gives her a look.

LUCY:

I'm strong but I can't kill someone with a slap.

The she pauses and thinks about it.

LUCY:

...I don't think.

RACHEL:

Well then it sounds like you did let him down light enough.

LUCY:

Whether he wanted to marry me or just wants my blood, I couldn't say yes.

RACHEL:

I would have been upset if you had.

LUCY looks at her, then she finally notices the book.

LUCY:

Is that-

RACHEL:

My brother's journal? Yes. I had just started reading it when you arrived.

LUCY picks it up and quickly, with vampire like quickness, scans through the book. Her eyes widen and she sets the book down.

LUCY:

We need to go. Now!

RACHEL:

What? Why?

LUCY:

He doesn't just know who I am, and what I am, but he has plans on how to become a vampire. And the things he plans to do after...

RACHEL:

You need to flee?

LUCY looks at her.

LUCY:

We need to flee.

RACHEL:

Both of us?

LUCY:

RACHEL, once he gets what he wants, he plans to kill-

SFX: Door knocking, loud.

LUCY stands and looks at the door.

BARRETT (OFF CAMERA):

RACHEL? Are you in there? We need to talk.

RACHEL looks at LUCY.

BARRETT (OFF CAMERA):

NOW!

LUCY holds out her hand to RACHEL.

LUCY:

Come with me.

RACHEL looks at the door, then at LUCY, then she puts her hand in LUCY's. She stands, LUCY draws her in, and then suddenly they're gone with a woosh.

SFX: Wood breaking.

BARRETT kicks the door in then comes in quick. Looking around he doesn't find his sister, or LUCY, but he does see his journal. Then he grows angrier.

End of Part 9:

I won't like: I like there this has gone but I can absolutely feel the need to edit everything once the script is over. I feel like I need to better flesh out Barrett and get his story working just a little better. That's something that has to happen in the editing process since I want to see the rest of the story first before going back over it, but I can tell that part of the script need some work.

With that said, it's about the only side that feels a little uneven. I like how Milla is getting tied in, I'm enjoying the flashbacks to the past, and I think the dynamic between Rachel and Lucy is working well. End of the day, if I'm entertained by the story I have to assume it works then. I'm the primary audience when I write it so it has to at least work for me.