Shooting Up the City

Continuing our dive through old school RoboCopDetroit's finest protector, this cyborg first debuted in Paul Verhoeven's satirical, over-the-top violent, action film. games, we move from the PC version of RoboCop 3 over to the Commodore 64 version (well, and the ZX Spectrum as well). Where the PC game could be built using then-cutting edge 3D graphics, presenting a shooter unlike anything the series had seen before, the Commodore 64 was nowhere near that powerful, so instead developer Probe Software took a back-to-basics approach. The previous two RoboCop movies received games that combined elements of platforming, action, and shooting gallery gameplay and that’s exactly what Probe gives us: a game that’s primarily platforming action but with a bit of shooting gallery gameplay thrown in.

Thing is, though, that the game is wildly uneven when it comes to combining those gameplay elements together. Fans of platforming gameplay have to slog through a long, single-segment shooting gallery before they’re able to play the rest of the game, while fans that actually enjoyed the shooting mode will only get that one area first, and then likely won’t enjoy the rest of the experience. And, for everyone, the whole thing is slot, plodding, and pretty tired. It would have been better for Probe to focus on one experience and build that out to be the best it could be instead of creating something malformed and weird.

Despite it being called RoboCop 3 very little of the story from the film makes it into the game. Instead you start out on the street, at a busy intersection, with gangland criminals coming out from all sides, you have to swiping around and shoot them, plopping your cursor on them (via the keyboard) and firing to take them out. It’s a full 360 degree view, so you’ll need to spin around and focus down all the areas until everyone is dead, and, yes, they will all be shooting at you even if you aren’t focused on them.

Credit where it’s due, this is the lengthiest shooting gallery mode we’ve seen in any RoboCop game so far. If this is your kind of thing, there’s a lot of meat here as this section can take upwards of seven minutes to clear, with all the bad guys that you have to take out in the process. I wouldn’t call it a varied experience, though, as you basically have a bunch of dudes on the street, either walking along the main road or coming out from allies, that you have to kill. A couple of windows will actually have dudes as well, but these are a distraction and you can ignore them as only the guys on the street count. Essentially, once you have the right position for your cursor where you can take out all the bad guys from a certain height, your job is to spin around, over and over, shooting anyone in range.

The one thing I did appreciate was that while you’re playing the shooting mode multiple repair kits will pop up. Grabbing these (even when they’re out of the way to get) will let you heal up parts of Robo (Head, Body, Arms, and Legs) after the section is over. The game has a persistent damage meter for the hero, which is a blessing and a curse, but at least early on there are plenty of health drops to use later. And this shooting gallery is the easiest section of the game, by far, so it’s a good time to stock up and get ready.

From here, we move into the platforming sections. Yes, really, say goodbye to the shooting gallery because that’s the last we’ll see of it. Our hero is sent into a warehouse to shoot down dudes and, at the midpoint and the end of the stage, he’ll have to take on a couple of robot ninjas. The gameplay here is pretty basic as we have to guide the hero along the platforming paths, jumping and shooting at enemies, all while avoiding pitfalls. It’s not anything too complex, just basic action gameplay.

The trick here, and what makes it a chore, is that the game moves so slowly. Robo moves like a heavy machine dragging a bigger, heavier machine behind him, and the enemies aren’t much better. Most of the action boils down to a slow slog through the stage, taking out a couple of dudes at a time (since seemingly the Commodore 64 couldn’t handle more than than in the platforming engine) until finally reaching the bosses. You shoot, they shoot, it’s all very slow and not at all thrilling.

But then we get to the ninjas and they’re a chore for a different reason: they’re fast and can deflect hits. While you’re still slow as hell, these guys are jumping all around, whirling their blade and dealing contact damage. And because they can deflect shots, very often your hits won’t land even if they’re lined up right. The ninjas are bullet sponges that, in the process, deal out a stupid amount of damage, and frankly you’d be lucky to make it past the two of them in this stage to get through to stage three. Most players, I bet, wouldn’t even bother.

If they did, though, they’d have to suffer through a couple of more stages. The first is another stage out on the streets, but this time it’s kind of a platforming stage. The difference here is that Robo has a jetpack so you can fly up and down to take out the enemies, some of whom are flying as well. The mid-boss is a massive tank that soaks up a ton of shots and can only take damage at the center of its dome. Fighting it is a real pain. Then the big boss of the stage is an ED-209 who also soaks a bunch of damage and dishes out far more than seems fair.

If, somehow, you get past that you then go into OCP headquarters where a bunch more ninjas will come for you as you scale up the multiple floors of the tower. It’s all very tedious, painful, and frustrating. But then, really, so is the rest of the game. About the only section I really enjoyed was the shooting gallery at the start of the game, and that was by degrees. I found it pretty chill and brainless, but at least the balance of the difficulty felt fair. The game spikes hard from there and I seriously don’t think it was meant to be cleared. It was a hard game meant to waste time so that players felt like they got enough in the game to get their money’s worth.

And look, I kind of wanted to like this game. Graphically it’s not bad, especially for its age and system, and the soundtrack for the title is pretty bopping. It doesn’t sound like the movie at all, but then so little of this game comes from the movie that I didn’t really care. It’s a good look, fun sounding little adventure for a computer console that didn’t often get as much love. I appreciated that this game existed and, if it had been even marginally good I’d be singing its praises.

But it’s not. RoboCop 3 on the C64 is a bad game. It’s slow, it’s annoying, and it’s too damn difficult for its own good. The game needed a lot of tweaking before it was ready for prime time, but Probe and Ocean Software (the publisher) rushed it out the door to meet deadlines. That left the game crippled and half finished. It’s a pity since some elements do work, just not enough of them.