I’m a Vampire! I’m a Vampire!

Nick Cage is a solid actor but, if we’re all being honest, Nick Cage is also a meme. While the actor started off doing fairly standard roles (Randy in Valley Girl, Charlie in Peggy Sue Got Married), along the way it became pretty apparent that the actor wasn’t interested in being another standard, pretty boy actor. He could do those kinds of roles if he wanted, but any time he landed one of those roles he very frequently took the character in a really wild, over-the-top direction. And then, when given a director that would let him let loose (such as John Wu with Face/Off), Cage could overact to his heart’s content.

Vampire’s Kiss is one of those films that very clearly showcases Cage’s ability to go hog wild. I’ve hesitated covering this film for a while, in large part because I actually wasn’t certain if I wanted to review it here or over on The Inverted Dungeon. It’s sort of a vampire film but, as we’ll get to soon, it’s sort of not, and knowing where it would go and the kind of review I would give for the film mattered a lot to me. I eventually committed to posting it here on Asteroid G simply because that ambiguity about the story, and how the events of the film play out, make it better for a discussion on the merits of Cage’s performance than about the lingering questions of if it really counts as a vampire film or not. Either way, though, it’s a very strange, weird, bonkers film that everyone should see at least once.

Cage plays literary agent Peter Loew, a yuppie guy living in New York City. He spends his nights partying and his days torturing his very sweet assistant, Alva Restrepo (María Conchita Alonso). Every day he makes her life a living hell simply because he can, all while she tries her best to do whatever he’s wanting, even if it forces her to stay late. He’s a terrible boss, and, frankly, a terrible person, which makes what comes next seem all the more fitting. Yes, this is where he meets a vampire. Maybe.

When out one night, Peter crosses paths with Rachel (Jennifer Beals), a woman that instantly grabs his attention. Any other night he might have rung up Jackie (Kasi Lemmons), a woman he met earlier who seemed to really like him, but once he meets Rachel he can’t have eyes for anyone else. He takes Rachel back to his apartment and, while making love, she bites his neck and feeds on his blood. The next morning he wakes up and acts like Rachel is still there, even though she isn’t, serving her coffee and having a conversation with her. He starts to act weirdly at work as well, having an adverse reaction to sunlight, thinking he has no reflection, and more. Eventually he convinces himself that he’s a vampire, and even buys fake, plastic teeth so he can stalk the night. But is Peter actually turning into the undead? Was Rachel even a vampire? That is the question that Peter has to figure out before it’s all too late.

On one hand, Vampire’s Kiss is a weird, mind-trip of a movie. Very quickly the film poses the question of whether Peter really slept with Rachel, if she even fed on him, or if it’s all in his head. This could be the first point on a serious mental breakdown that Peter was cruising for all along, or it could be that she really was a vampire, and she’s in his head, messing with him even when she’s off somewhere, sleeping during the day. From the way he behaves Peter could either be a ghoul waiting to be turned, like a Renfield feeding on bugs and hoping his master will make him the undead, or he could be utterly off his rocker. Both answers could be true at the same time and the film never really lets us know. That is something I appreciate.

I’ve played a few tabletop role playing games in my time and Peter’s story here reminded me a lot of the Malkavian vampires from Vampire the Masquerade. They’re, in short, the crazy ones, trapped in their own delusions. If Peter were turning, he could be that kind of vampire, slowly succumbing to his delusion while his mistress, Rachel, toys with him night after night. It’s an interesting idea, one that I really liked seeing, and the fact that the film doesn’t truly give you an answer just makes you want to think about it even more. Peter as a crazy Malkavian ghoul has been floating around in my head for days, showing I spend too much time thinking about vampires, but also that there’s something fascinating about the story in this film.

With that said, there is no denying that Nick Cage’s performance absolutely overrides any other discussion of the film. Cage here gives one of his all-time biggest go-for-broke performances. He wanted Peter to seem truly insane by the end of it, so he slowly lets the character descend into real madness. With the approval of director Robert Bierman, Cage put on a very fake sounding Transylvanian accent for Peter, and then proceeds to get more and more wild and crazy as the film goes on.

It’s truly meme worthy. In fact, there literally are memes of his performance, all bug eyed, staring at the camera. Late in the film he starts running around, raving, “I’m a vampire! I’m a vampire!” He goes to clubs wearing his clearly fake vampire teeth. He’s a raving loon that you laugh at because it’s hard to do anything else. Cage makes Peter feel like a joke, a comedic punch line that we’re all supposed to enjoy, because otherwise this film would be a dower, simple tale that wouldn’t really match the craziness of its story.

I think that laughing at the memes misses the point of the performance, though. This is a man who, if he isn’t a vampire, is going through a serious mental break. It comes on quickly and suddenly he’s barely the person he thought he was. He could be talking to people that aren’t there, unable to see the reality before him. He’s a tragic figure in a way, which doesn’t downplay some of the awful things he eventually does. He rapes one woman, kills another, and if he’s not a vampire he’s done all of this under his delusion and that makes it even sadder. That doesn’t excuse anything he’s done, but it also highlights that this is a man that needed help (if he’s simply going insane) and the society around him isn’t built to even recognize that, let alone actually get him the help he needs.

Hell, he even has a psychologist and despite her getting clues he was going off the deep end quickly, she never suggested him getting more help than a once-weekly session so they could talk about his sex dream about a bat. If he’s not actually turning into a vampire (which I’m still unsure of but I do lean towards no, which is another reason I didn’t cover this movie on The Inverted Dungeon) then this descent into madness is really quite harrowing and sad to watch despite the memes we can get from Cage’s performance.

Good or bad, Vampire’s Kiss is a film that’s stuck with me. It’s so weird, so unlike anything I’ve seen before (in the vampire genre or otherwise) that I just don’t know how to feel about it. I enjoyed the way it fucked with me. I laughed at the over-the-top performance. I felt really shitty when I realized maybe Peter really is just insane. It all built up in a weird way and it left me kind of reeling. But I’m still thinking about it, weeks later, and I have to think that makes the film relevant.

I don’t know if it’s a good movie. I don’t even know how that label could apply to this film or if it even should. What I do know, though, is that Vampire’s Kiss is one of the most interesting genre films I’ve ever seen. I came for the memes but I left awkwardly getting far more than I bargained for, and in a way I think that’s better for this film than simply calling it good or bad. This film is something weird, but something special, and I’m going to think back on it for a long time.