Where’s the Rest of the Movie?

If you’re going to adapt a movie into a game you have to take the basic elements of the film and bring them into the game. If you don’t bring in enough elements, enough to make it a clear adaptation of the source material, then you’ve failed in converting the film to the game. This seems like a no-brainer: we’ve seen plenty of games adapting other sources (from BatmanOne of the longest running, consistently in-print superheroes ever (matched only by Superman and Wonder Woman), Batman has been a force in entertainment for nearly as long as there's been an entertainment industry. It only makes sense, then that he is also the most regularly adapted, and consistently successful, superhero to grace the Silver Screen. to SupermanThe first big superhero from DC Comics, Superman has survived any number of pretenders to the throne, besting not only other comic titans but even Wolrd War II to remain one of only three comics to continue publishing since the 1940s. to SpidermanSure, DC Comics has Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman, but among the most popular superheroes stands a guy from Marvel Comics, a younger hero dressed in red and blue who shoots webs and sticks to walls. Introduced in the 1960s, Spider-Man has been a constant presence in comics and more, featured in movies regularly since his big screen debut in 2002., all during this era) that I assumed to would be the norm, that this concept was just obvious. But then we get to a series of adaptations of Terminator 2: Judgment day and none of them seem interested in engaging with the source material in any real way. Cherry pick a few scenes, do a bit of loose fanfiction, and ignore the rest. Over and over.

Case in point, the Game Boy version of Terminator 2: Judgment Day (not to be confused with the Game Boy adaptation of the arcade game, which was a very bad version of a point and press shooter). This is a criminally short Game Boy game by any measure, but it’s also a terrible adaptation of the film as well. It barely touches upon the events of the movie, instead largely ignoring all the meat and story for a few bland action sequences (half of which don’t even come from the film) before putting up a “you won” screen and calling it a day. This is one of the worst adaptations I’ve ever had to play, and I suffered through Batman Forever.

The game opens in the future with (confusingly) Sarah Connoer giving advice to John on how to stop the future war. He has to work his way across the wastes, taking down signal towers and blasting his way through a Skynet factory, all so he can find a T-800 to reprogram. Once found, he takes his sweet time reprogramming the circuitry, getting it just right so the cyborg is ready to send to the past. It’s non-puzzle action right in the middle of your action-platforming video game.

With the T-800 reprogrammed, the bot is sent to the past to defend John Connoer. He rides with the kid through the L.A. river canal system, avoiding the T-1000’s truck and surviving various objects and pitfalls. Then they have to battle their way through the Cyberdyne headquarters to take, grabbing the chip and the arm of the previous T-800 (from the first film) so they can stop the future war and save humanity. Finally, it’s the battle through the ironworks with the T-1000, stopping the machine from killing the Connors when the T-800 blasts it into the molten metal. All in a day’s work.

I have noted this before, and I have a bad feeling I’m going to have to repeat myself several times during my reviews of the Terminator 2: Judgment Day games, but there is more to the film than the L.A. chase, the Cyberdyne attack, and the ironworks set. John goes running from the T-1000 in the mall, setting up his encounter with the T-800 for the first time. The two then go to the asylum to save Sarah. There’s a chase sequence outside the asylum afterwards. They all escape to Mexico, and then Sarah goes back to attack Miles Dyson. Only then do we get to the Cyberdyne attack, the chases across L.A. at night, and the ironworks after, but most of these elements are ignored entirely in various games, this Game Boy title included.

The first half of the game is based on events only hinted at in the movie and not actually seen. We know John reprograms the T-800, but it’s such a minor part of the plotting of the film (meant to be a surprise twist that, yes, the trailer for the movie spoiled) that it’s better not addressed in the action of a retelling. WHat this section does is pad in some set-pieces for the game to play with since the developers are, apparently, loath to actually touch the plot of the movie for some reason. All they see are the L.A. river chase, the Cyberdyne attack, and the ironworks. To them, nothing else matters.

That’s how we get an incredible dull opening section where John has to blast five signal towers in a specific order. This is a bland, minor stage, brainless in every respect. It’s totally padding, through and through, with a simple mechanic that only adds length and doesn’t add fun. It’s followed by mindless shooting in the Skynet factory, which is again dull and mindless. And then, once the correct terminator is found, the game switches gears entirely, becoming a puzzle game for about ten minutes.

The circuitry reprogramming game is very basic and, once you understand what you’re doing, not that interesting. You play through three puzzles, each more complex than the last, getting the wires to line up to fry the four circuits in a chip and blank the terminator’s memory. Do it three times and you win. It reminded me of the sliding puzzles from the ZX Spectrum adaptation, making this game feel less like a cohesive narrative than a collection of mini-games and ideas.

Also, the circuitry reprogramming never comes up again after this, even though there’s a (deleted) scene from the movie where T-800 needs repairs and they could have used this mechanic again. If you’re going to put a mechanic like this in the game, actually use it.

We then cut to the L.A. chase, which is one of the easiest versions of this. Just sit at the front of the screen, shoot behind you at the truck, and eventually let it explode. There’s no thought or care that goes into this stage at all. The Cyberdyne attack is similarly basic, with the T-800 simply walking back and forth across the stage, shooting a few cops while pressing some switches, all so he can collect the chip and arm (which the game just tells you to do without any actual plot to tell you why). Finally, we have the ironworks which is literally just the T-800 shooting at the T-1000 over and over, pushing it back until it falls into the metal. It doesn’t take any strategy or thought; just blast away.

I dislike this game not because it’s hard or challenging or unfair. I’ve seen plenty of retro games and adaptations that are all of those things and more and they’re certainly terrible experiences, but often they have some element that actually makes them legitimately interesting in their own right. We’re talking the likes of Jaws and Friday the 13th, both of which I oddly enjoy even as I have to say, “now, in fairness, these aren’t great games…” Those games were licensed by LJN and produced by other studios for release, just like this Game Boy title. The difference is those games showed creativity while Terminator 2: Judgment Day on the Game Boy just sucks. The game is easy, but it’s also irredeemable.

It’s very rare that I outright hate a game that I’m able to get through easily, but this is the rare exception. There is no creativity, no life, no spark in this Game Boy title. This is a cold, boring, mindless cash-grab of a title, cranked out as fast as possible to capitalize on a successful movie. LJN at least, in the 1980s, let its developers have some fun with games even as they cranked out crap on a deadline. Clearly that era is over and we’re in for the worst adaptations we can find.

Even in a sea of bad Terminator 2: Judgment Day adaptations, this is one of the worse. Even if you’re a fan of the Terminator franchise, there is just no reason to go and play this game. It’s a tedious, unimaginably boring experience from start to finish. And, worst of all, it barely resembles the movie it’s working off of. It’s not hard. Just take the scenes, make some platforming levels, crank out a game. Is that really too much to ask?