Time to Cull the Netflix Queue

Yesterday we covered the shows that are on Hulu that I couldn't get into and won't bother to finish. That's not the only streaming service I have though, as I also watch plenty on NetflixOriginally started as a disc-by-mail service, Netflix has grown to be one of the largest media companies in the world (and one of the most valued internet companies as well). With a constant slate of new internet streaming-based programming that updates all the time, Netflix has redefined what it means to watch TV and films (as well as how to do it). (although I do have to admit that the shows Netflix produces hook me far less often than they used to). Since we just went through the Hulu queue to clear out shows I won't finish, it's time to do the same for Netflix.

The rules here are the same as yesterday: we're going to break this article up into chunks, organized by streaming platform.. I am including shows that didn't originate on Netflix but are now part of their streaming platform (due to licensing or whatever Hollywood witchcraft the studios have done). If it's on Netflix and I dropped it like a cold, slimy potato, we're covering it here.

The Sinner

Okay, so this is a weird one and I will admit that maybe I just came into the show at the wrong time. The Sinner is an anthology series about a cop, played by Bill Pullman, investigating serious crimes in a Upstate New York. I was drawn in to watching the show because it featured Matt Boomer as the criminal for what I thought was the first season of the show, and I really think Matt Boomer is a fantastic actor. I watched half the season, got bored (and depressed and it's a massively depressing show) and tuned out, never to go back.

Little did I realize that what I was watching was the third season of the show and that it was also, apparently, the only season of the show Netflix had. I don't know why Netflix gave me only the third season but I didn't realize it at the time, and only now know it going back to write this article. This is one of those weird ones where I may actually go back to see if either of the previous seasons were actually worth watching. I just know that once I get to season three I'm gonna stop again because I already tried it and I have no interest. Something tells me that I won't even make it that far.

Good Girls

This is another show with a cast I should like: Christina Hendricks, Retta, and Mae Whitman in a show about housewives "Breaking Bad". It's an interesting concept and, if it wasn't already clear from many of the articles I've written for this site, I like female-led takes on material. A show like this, with a good mix of comedy and action, led by three strong actresses, should be a an easy win in my book. It's up to four seasons now and I should have already devoured everything about the show in short order. So what happened?

Well, I can't speak for the later seasons as I only made it halfway into season one, but the show is just stupidly predictable. The ladies are all strapped for cash for one reason or another -- Hendricks's Beth has a loser husband who is in hock up to his eyeballs and she needs to pay off the debt. Rhetta's Ruby has a kid with cancer that needs expensive treatment. And Whitman's Annie is fighting for custody of her kid. They all have strong motivation and you can see the reasoning for why they decide to commit one small crime -- robbing a grocery store with plastic guns -- so they can deal with their problems. Only issue: the money they stole was from a front for drug dealers and now they're in debt to that gang or they're all dead.

It's a solid setup and, in theory, I should like it. But then the characters act stupid, over and over and over again, and I just couldn't take it. Once they realize that they ended up with way more money than they were expecting (hundreds of thousands of dollars instead of tens of thousands) they all agree they won't spend any of the cash until the heat dies down... and then they all promptly spend a shit ton of the money and draw the heat right to them. And then they have to kill a guy. And then... and then... and then...

Housewives "breaking bad" is a cool concept, but the thing was that Breaking Bad had a specific end goal in mind and as the lead character fell further and further into the life he did it out of necessity (well, as much as he enjoyed being the villain) and he did it intelligently. You follow Mr. White around because even when he gets into trouble he finds a way to turn the situation around with science. The ladies here, though, just make one bad decision after another because, I don't know, the writers are stupid and feel like the ladies should be stupid too? I just could take it. Half a season in and I'm out.

The Irregulars

I know this show has fans. I know they're all sad that this show has gotten canceled after only a single season, part of the regular Netflix culling the company performs. I gotta say, though, from what little I managed to sit through of the show, it was just bad. This is, admittedly based on only twenty minutes of the series, twenty minutes watching the two lead girls (well, I think they're the two leads) talk about a birthday and love and trying to find men and... god, I was bored. I didn't know who they were, I didn't know why I was supposed to care, and, for a show that was supposed to be about Sherlock Holmes, I saw absolutely nothing from the detective in that opening set of scenes.

Shows need a hook. They have to grab you and make you want to watch them. A new series, especially, has to have the right idea to make you sit up and pay attention. The Irregulars wasted that time on two characters that, after their scenes, I never wanted to see again. This show can have all the fans behind it that it wants, I am not one of them.

Shadow and Bone

And speaking of... this is a show that has a TON of fan love. I heard people rave about this show regularly, about its mythos, its world building, about how good it is and how deep the story goes. I watched and episode and I gotta tell you: I have no clue what the hell happened because I just couldn't keep track of anything, nor did I care to try. Things happen, a war goes on, some crimes are committed, and then I changed over to a different streaming app.

Shadow and Bone is based on Leigh Bardugo's "Grishaverse", a series of (currently) four books (with more to come), and the book series has a lot of fans. I would suppose that if you had already read the books and knew what all the mythology was, this series might be able to hook you because you already know all the characters, the locations, the mythology, and all the random terms being thrown around. I'd never read the books so I didn't know any of them. All I knew was there were characters talking about a war, characters with names I didn't know (and that all sounded interchangeable), discussing countries I didn't know, while a separate crime story was going on in a part of the world that seemed to have nothing to do with the war storyline. None of it, mind you, made for compelling television.

I get that everyone wants to be the next Game of Thrones, the next big fantasy series that takes over the cultural zeitgeist. Maybe this show will be that touchstone for other people, but for me it was just a confusing mess I didn't care about in the slightest.

And with that that my streaming apps are clear and I can go find a bunch of new stuff to start watching and never finish...