Damn You, Globes!

I was watching Last Comic Standing yesterday. I liked the comedians, by and large, that were on there. Only a few of them had really awful sets you just couldn't laugh at, and thankfully, they didn't make it to the next round. Something about comedians that makes a show in the vein of Real World and American Idol watchable when the other shows aren't.

Anyway, the show got me thinking about comedy, and if I was a comedian, what kinda bit I'd do. Being the geek that I am, I know in the end it would all boil down to TV and Movies. What movies suck, what don't. The best bit I could think of, which probably wouldn't play as HA HA funny in any venue was as such:

You ever watch Star Wars? Most of you have I'm sure, and I know there are a few "fans" out there. You poor bastards. I'm not a fan, but. as with all cinema, I feel the compulsion to watch it. The worse the movie, to a point, the more I have to watch. Few movies I can't sit through and tear apart. And few are better than the most recent set of Star Wards movies.

It occurred to me that George Lucas is rather bereft of new ideas. I mean, for starters, he has this vendetta against spherical objects. A new Hope: Death Star goes boom. Jedi: Again, Death Star. Ep I: the annoying kid destroys a space base with a vaguely Death Star center section in it. And, from what I hear, Ep III will have the Death Star YET AGAIN!

Beyond that, if you think about it, the two trilogies can really be layered one on top of the other.

First movie: We have a Skywalker on Tatooine. He is quite annoying, learns he is a Jei, and in the end, his master dies. Oh, and the great star base threatening whatever planet they are on is destroyed thanks to token Skywalker.

Second Movie: The movie flows along as a transition piece. We see the two sides battle at least once. We see token Skywalker maturing, and I use that term loosely, along the path of the Jei We have token Skywalker brashly head into battle to help his friends. And we have a love story that has some pain by the end of the movie... although Harrison Ford in carbonite is much cooler than little Orphan Annie losing an arm.

Third Movie: I can only conjecture at this point, but we do know it will feature a Death Star in construction, and a pivotal point in Darth Vader's life.

Okay, so not a funny bit, but it got me thinking, and you got a rant out of it. You better be happy!