Build a Better Slasher

I recently got Freddy vs. Jason on DVD. I liked that flick, although I will be the first to admit that a pairing of the two was not nearly as good as the best from each of their separate collections. I mean, you look at pat 1 or 3 from Freddy, and we're talking cream of the slasher crop.

It's really a sad thing to think about how far the slasher genre has fallen. Slasher movies in general are a hard lot to create, as I've noticed. Horror in general isn't any easy thing to write. I've tried my hands at it. You're not just looking for a quick scare with good horror. We're talking, build up, release, build up more... tension, gore, more release. It's a delicate balancing act that few directors seem to get. So, I'm gonna write some rules down for a good slasher flick, and see if we can't at least narrow down what we, being me, wanna see in a the next slasher flick. This is just cause I'm bored and lack anything else to write about.

1. Lose the Cheese. I know everyone is used to Freddy whipping out one liners and being all funny, but few characters, or actors, have the charisma and talent to sell those hokey lines. Lets face it, unless you got Robert Englund, just try and play it straight. What to watch for is not to lose the humor. If you watch Evil Dead or similarly influenced movies, you'll notice that sometimes the tension builds to scares, but more often it builds to laughs, just to keep you on edge. In fact, let's make this a second rule.
2. Build the Suspense. If you watched Resident Evil, which I know isn't a slasher flick, but still is horror, you may have noticed that every time there was a chance for a scare, they took the chance and scared ya. Kinda made the scares predictable, and thus, not scary. Don't blow your load on every scare, cause otherwise you're left with weak sauce.
3. Nudity. This is a staple of good horror. Let's face it, most people watching these flicks are teenagers, and teenagers like a little tit... most do anyway. But, a little tit and twat (hehe) do more than just raise ratings. They catch a person off guard. You settle into a little porno-cam, and suddenly the monster strikes. Wicked scares ensue. I hate the current trend of not showing tit. Give us some boobies! It's a cardinal rule.
4. Have Convincing Monsters. Make em scary, but more important, make em vulnerable. Jason's biggest downfall is the simple fact that he never dies. Shoot him, stab him, burn him, rape him, he comes back for more. You know every time his music plays and the people start looking around, that he is gonna strike and kill someone. What you need is someone that isn't superhuman, someone the characters can fight and hurt. Then, you feel for the characters even more, cause they are fighting for their lives, and they seem to be making a good show of it. Thus, when they die, you feel for their deaths even more. Good carnage.

I dunno what else I can say right now. I may revisit this topic, but for now, I'm spent.